Caring for Dad

This week has been both so very lovely and so very worrisome.

On one hand the time T. and I spend together in a gentle and loving way that we do, playful banter, evening bike rides and laughter makes me so happy. On the other hand, there is a bit of a dark cloud that just does not seem to be going away, until it does, all on its very own schedule and terms.

My mind has been occupied with other things, my thoughts thousands miles away. My dad is not doing well, he is nearing 80 and while I want to believe he is in an ‘overall good shape’, his body is fragile and starting to decline. He has had a few check-ups lately and seems like not everything looks right.

I have an elderly, unwell parent and I am worried.

Caring for dad

I feel helpless when all I can do is give my dad a call to ‘check on him’, even if I do just that, a few times a day, I am still an ocean away. So T. and I started discussing a possibility of me having to go back to Poland for a few weeks or months, if need be, to help care for my dad. Everything is on the table now.

It is in my blood and in my upbringing to know that just like a parent takes care of their helpless newborn, an adult child takes care of their helpless elderly mom and dad. Even if this means some serious sacrifices along the way. Like potentially quitting a job and leaving NYC, going back to Poland for a bit, live off savings and care for my dad.

I am on a standby until we know the course of action and what needs to happen. I am finding a quiet place and praying on it.

 

7 comments

  1. Kathy says:

    I care for those like your Dad as a nurse. I too helped look after my Dad when his health declined. My prayers and thoughts are most definitely with you.
    Kathy

  2. Laure says:

    My heart goes out to you. I’m sure your dad loves your calling so frequently. I imagine it also is a big stress reliever for him (which must have a health benefit!) to know you are financially in good shape and even helping your sister so much, so he doesn’t have to worry about you. Sounds like you are thinking everything through carefully. It’s wonderful you have been saving and so have $ for the plane ticket (and time off) if necessary.

    • SimpleIsGood4U says:

      Dear Lore, yes, very true. I have always been a ‘squirrel’ always making sure that I have some money put away ‘just in case’. It brings a lot of peace of mind. Also, it is a lot cheaper in Poland (at least in the rural areas where my family is from) so if need be, I could totally pull off being away for half a year or more without a need to worry about the money. I am also blessed to have a wonderful man by my side who is very supportive.

  3. Renee says:

    Hi Fellow Queens Neighbor-
    I will keep you in my thoughts as you make the right decision to ease your heart and care for your Dad. I honestly feel your frugal ways is admirable in that it allows you to afford taking the time and live off savings. You are true model for us learning this game of frugal living. -Renee

    • SimpleIsGood4U says:

      Renee, thank you my sweet, online friend. I am very hopeful things will work out in the end, they always do. Maybe the timing is not what we want sometimes but I am trying to stay strong and not make emotional decisions. On one hand it may be best if I physically stay with my dad in Poland caring for him, but on the other hand I may be more needed to stay in NYC and make sure I can financially cover his medical expenses (I need to work to be able to do this). I am praying on it and know I will get some clarity.

  4. Amber says:

    I’m so sorry to hear this. I’m sure it is very stressful. I’m glad you and your husband are on the same page about helping your father.

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