I am literally on pins and needles this week. All I can think about is the fact that I am traveling to Naples (FL) for the Easter break. I am flying out on Friday morning and T. is meeting me there at the airport arriving from LAX (he is finally wrapping up his LA trip after being away for 3 weeks). Now, it is not my average kind of travel, namely, we are visiting my in-laws. Considering the fact that T. has not been on great terms with his parents for the last several years, this visit is a BIG deal.
I am very close with my dad and my sister (my mom passed away a few years ago) and I call them almost daily. Or sometimes twice a day. It is just so easy with my cell phone provider (T-Mobile) offering free calls to several countries (within their unlimited plan) to both landline and cell phone; luckily Poland is on that list as well. And so I call from the train each morning and then over a lunch break. Even if for a few minutes. Now that my dad is nearing 80 years old, not having much to keep him busy during the day, I know that he is really looking forward to these phone calls. I cannot imagine NOT to call.
T. is the only child and for reasons he just ‘cannot explain’ he has never been as close with his parents as I have. Seems like he has a better contact with his dad but not with the mom. He may as well go for months without calling them, let alone visit. For the last 3 years (since we married), I have been on a mission to help him reconcile their relationship. I have not been around long enough to figure out what and when went wrong but I do believe that the only way now is to move forward. So while encouraging him to make an effort, I have been making an extra effort myself. I have been sending cards, letters and small gifts. For the last 3 years I have been remembering their birthdays and anniversaries and calling for even the smallest of holidays (Happy President’s Day!, Happy Valentine’s Day!, Happy Martin Luther King’s Day? Sure! You get the idea).
The two of us are going to visit for the whole 4 days. I am anxious, excited and a bit nervous. There is a long time between these visits so each time it feels slightly stressful. Of course always putting my best foot forward, including packing only ‘modest’ dresses, wearing ‘barely there’ make up and literally being at my best 🙂 T. knows better than to constantly look at his phone while visiting and I informed my office that I will be totally OFFLINE this weekend. No one better expects me replying to their emails, right? T.’s parents refuse to even own cell phones and do not appreciate anyone in their presents to be occupied by anything else than a conversation (I actually like that).
I just truly hope that with time things will improve between T. and his parents. It does have a direct impact on me since I am right in the middle of the mix. I am trying to do best I can to encourage T. to always take a higher road, especially now that his parents are older, in their 70s. By losing a battle you can win the war, right?
Have YOU ever been in the middle of your spouse’s family disagreements / small dramas? Staying out of it or trying to ‘fix’ things? Thoughts welcome. x