Easter Travel Jitters

I am literally on pins and needles this week. All I can think about is the fact that I am traveling to Naples (FL) for the Easter break. I am flying out on Friday morning and T. is meeting me there at the airport arriving from LAX (he is finally wrapping up his LA trip after being away for 3 weeks). Now, it is not my average kind of travel, namely, we are visiting my in-laws. Considering the fact that T. has not been on great terms with his parents for the last several years, this visit is a BIG deal.

I am very close with my dad and my sister (my mom passed away a few years ago) and I call them almost daily. Or sometimes twice a day. It is just so easy with my cell phone provider (T-Mobile) offering free calls to several countries (within their unlimited plan) to both landline and cell phone; luckily Poland is on that list as well. And so I call from the train each morning and then over a lunch break. Even if for a few minutes. Now that my dad is nearing 80 years old, not having much to keep him busy during the day, I know that he is really looking forward to these phone calls. I cannot imagine NOT to call.

Easter Travel Jitters

T. is the only child and for reasons he just ‘cannot explain’ he has never been as close with his parents as I have. Seems like he has a better contact with his dad but not with the mom. He may as well go for months without calling them, let alone visit. For the last 3 years (since we married), I have been on a mission to help him reconcile their relationship. I have not been around long enough to figure out what and when went wrong but I do believe that the only way now is to move forward. So while encouraging him to make an effort, I have been making an extra effort myself. I have been sending cards, letters and small gifts. For the last 3 years I have been remembering their birthdays and anniversaries and calling for even the smallest of holidays (Happy President’s Day!, Happy Valentine’s Day!, Happy Martin Luther King’s Day? Sure! You get the idea).

I purchased this lovely frame at TJMaxx. This is a gift for T.'s mom.

I purchased this lovely frame at TJMaxx. This is a gift for T.’s mom.

The two of us are going to visit for the whole 4 days. I am anxious, excited and a bit nervous. There is a long time between these visits so each time it feels slightly stressful. Of course always putting my best foot forward, including packing only ‘modest’ dresses, wearing ‘barely there’ make up and literally being at my best 🙂 T. knows better than to constantly look at his phone while visiting and I informed my office that I will be totally OFFLINE this weekend. No one better expects me replying to their emails, right? T.’s parents refuse to even own cell phones and do not appreciate anyone in their presents to be occupied by anything else than a conversation (I actually like that).

And for T.’s dad? Well, nothing says ‘I Love You’ more than a good bottle of wine 😉

I just truly hope that with time things will improve between T. and his parents. It does have a direct impact on me since I am right in the middle of the mix. I am trying to do best I can to encourage T. to always take a higher road, especially now that his parents are older, in their 70s. By losing a battle you can win the war, right?

Have YOU ever been in the middle of your spouse’s family disagreements / small dramas? Staying out of it or trying to ‘fix’ things? Thoughts welcome. x

 

4 comments

  1. Laure says:

    Those flowers are absolutely beautiful! Supposed to snow here today. I can’t wait for spring.

    Good luck with the trip. I don’t have the same experience, but a girl friend just told me yesterday that she was in the same situation as you and, after 7 years of marriage, has successfully gotten everyone closer together.

    I have enjoyed reading The Happiness Project, and found it thought-provoking. One observation was something like it’s easier for both men and women to connect emotionally with women. It might be hard because T is an only child and a man. In my family (several siblings, both brothers and sisters), it is usually we (the girls) coordinating holidays, asking if my brothers and their families will be there, etc. I recently learned that although I thought all of us siblings still exchange birthday gifts, it turns out my brothers never get each other anything…they just forget to, and don’t mind at all.

    Good luck with the travel and enjoy Naples!

    • SimpleIsGood4U says:

      Glad you liked the book, Laure. I seriously thought it was one of the best ‘self improvement’ books I read lately. I have the ‘Better Than Before’ (another book by Gretchen Rubin) lined up at the local library so probably will get it in the next few weeks.

      Oh the boys, that’s so true about the birthday gifts. I never, ever seen T. getting any gifts for his male friends for BDay or any other occasion. I am always getting something for my girlfriends, and to make it extra special, I exchange gifts with my best friend on both her and my birthday. It’s her Bday and we both get something. Same on my BDay. How fun is that? 🙂

      I hope you are not getting snowed in, I am excited the spring is finally coming to NYC. Absolutely ready to put away winter boots and coats.

      Have a great Easter break Laure. x

  2. TerriC says:

    The weather should be lovely for travel. Yes, to difficult family situations. With an in-law as it happens and all the more confounding as I’ve very good relationships with all the rest of my children’s spouses. This didn’t end well but it wasn’t due to my being nasty or acting upset or grousing and for that I am grateful…

    • SimpleIsGood4U says:

      I can’t imagine you being anything but loving and supportive to your children and their spouses, Terri.

      On another note, I have a feeling that T.’s mom likes me better than she likes him lol. I am embracing it and just being best I can. Other things will come to place with time I am sure.

      Wishing you and your family great Easter. x

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