Do you feel at times that, while your everyday life is good and everything seems in order, there is something clouding your mind? You find yourself questioning your choices in both personal and professional life. Is this the right time for a change? And if so, what is it? Shall I stay in my current job, where at this point I am not learning anything new as I pretty much mastered all I could have in the last 5 years, or shall I start looking for something new? Shall we stay in New York City or shall we move?
I don’t like the city as much any more and I don’t see myself living here forever. In a long run, we could never afford a home here with literally nothing being available below $800k in our area, while we can probably get something really nice for half this price anywhere else in the country. At the same time, when is the right time to move and where shall we look to settle? When shall we start a family, when is the right time to just say ‘let’s do it’? Let’s move, let’s find new jobs, let’s have a baby. At times all these questions come at once and feel incredibly overwhelming.
What I feel I am missing is having a sense of having a clear plan and working towards it. For now I simply have way too many questions and way too few answers. I find myself overthinking things, getting snappy quite a bit and overall just being confused.
I don’t like myself this way, I like being peaceful and patient and definitely I do not feel this way right now. Writing this post is helping me to focus on things that I know I should be doing rather than letting myself go crazy.
Life At A Crossroads & How To Embrace The Time of Change
1. Attitude matters
It would be so much easier if I just KNEW what I am supposed to do, at all times. It would be great to have clarity and have a plan that I KNOW is a good plan and is the best plan to go with. Unfortunately unless I come up with one, it is not going to just land on my lap. Instead of getting annoyed, snappy, confused and overall moody, I know I can get most clarity on what next steps I / we shall take if I just relax, be patient and try to embrace every day as it comes. This way I will not miss out on the ‘present’ while worrying about the future!
2. Trust the timing
Change is scary and for some things (such as starting a family or moving or making a major purchase such as a home) it seems like the timing is never right. Since all these questions are coming to me right now, this probably IS the right timing to listen to myself and consider change. It does not mean I need to be rushing into anything but definitely considering a few major changes is on the table right now.
3. Take one question at a time
It feels overwhelming to answer all these questions all at once. I will try to handle them one by one. Potentially exploring a new area with reasonable priced real estate could be step #1. Step #2 (really alongside with the step #1) is exploring job market in a potential new location. Once that is figured out, I will get to the other things. Is this a better plan than trying to figure out at once? Definitely less scary, that’s for sure.
4. Share the question
I definitely do not like keeping things to myself (well, unless it is a secret, of course). Whether it is work or personal life related, The PG Girl and I are always brainstorming. We have come to a point that rather than giving advice we practice ‘listening and understanding’ which, most of the time, is helpful more than any advice. Regardless, just talking about all of the current concerns that I have helps me in finding some clarity.
5. The gut feeling
I am sure you know the feeling. I am a strong believer that the gut feeling is not leading me (or anyone in that matter) wrong. If you feel ‘it’, you feel ‘it’ for a reason. But what if the gut feeling is much stronger and different than what the mind tells you to do? Well, this is where I am right now. I am just going ‘to sit on it’ until I feel that both ‘the gut’ and the mind align at least a little bit and get on the same page.
Have YOU ever felt that your life is at a crossroads? How did you come to make any life changing decisions? Were you happy you made them or did you regret?