The last few days were sort of hard on me. Not getting into many details, I think I am having a sort of a mid-life crisis. I am (still) 35 for yet another month, so not sure if this is what it is but I definitely get frustrated / annoyed / irritated much easier these days. Ugh.. On one hand I want to blame cooler weather for it as I just hate being cold and I surely am dreading NYC winter. But on the other hand I know that’s not really what’s causing my ‘blue’ feeling.
After signing out of Facebook approximately 10 months ago (for these reasons) I signed back in. I had some of my work colleagues moving back to Australia (we are a very international bunch here at my office) and since keeping in touch via email with some of them is a bit challenging, I signed back into FB so we can stay connected. [I am also going to pledge at this time that I will not be using FB for more than 30 minutes a week considering that time waste was one of the main reasons why I put my account on hold last year in the first place!] Anyway, I signed back into Facebook and I had several new babies and puppies popping up on my screen in the first two minutes. Lots of new babies, count-down to babies, baby-wearing and breastfeeding pledges going on. Everyone from my FB feed seems to be either buying new homes, having a new baby or be on a constant vacation having times of their lives (or at least it seems like it judging by the photos).
And me? Well, I feel a bit ‘all over the place’ as of 2015. Sort of at a crossroads, one may say. While I do count my blessings, or at least I want to stay aware of them (and there are plenty of them!) I have not been as ‘present’ as I would want myself to be. My mind has been racing hundred miles an hour planning, researching, calculating and pondering about the future. I’ve had the last few weeks just fly by me, Monday through Friday, weekend, Monday through Friday, weekend.
Just yesterday I was rushing to pick up lunch for my busy boss, making my walk just a few minutes longer to say hello to Doug. I mentioned Doug briefly in one of my previous posts. Doug is a homeless man ‘residing’ in SoHo area in Manhattan, just around a corner from my office. Doug blends in with the scenery, if you walk the same street every day, you can easily miss him. Or not. Doug is the sweetest, little man, humble, smart and funny. Doug is grateful for a sunny day (so his shoes don’t get wet), he is grateful for a pair of socks or a book. Doug is happiest though when someone stops by and talks to him. In the busiest day, if I am around, I am making it a point to spare a few minutes and kneel down or sit next to Doug to check how he is doing.
For the longest time Doug would tell me how he cannot wait until he can get his benefits at 65, to get a cheap room somewhere, to have his own bed, to get his ID. A certain lovely lady, who also befriended Doug, and who also happens to be a social worker, had been working hard until 2 days ago Doug received his Medicare card. A card with his name and his picture. A proof that he ‘exists’ as he says it. Doug is finally receiving his Social Security Benefits this November, he is still homeless but hopefully by December this will change. I felt quite down and grumpy the whole week but all of Doug’s updates truly put everything into perspective. I am blessed with everything that Doug has been wanting for the last 10 years. What I already have (and what sometime I miss to be grateful for) is all that he has been dreaming about. And I am so happy for him.
Life is full of unexpected blessings. It may just be a matter of being more patient and humble while continuing to be kind to others (and yourself).
What are YOUR blessings this week?