Things Not to Say to a Childless Woman

I read several moms’ blogs and I love the stories of their children’s growing. I bookmark ideas for play dates, tips and tricks for managing children’s schedule as well as homeschooling. I stop by children’s stores when I see they have a sale. I peak at a children’s section at Barnes & Noble, I stop by the swings in a park to watch children play, I wave at strollers and make silly faces at kids I see on a subway. It may not sound like anything extraordinary for all the moms out there. But it is for me. You see, I do not have children, and yet this is what I am longing for most. While I am hopeful that motherhood is something I will be blessed with, it seems like it is just not happening right now.



Usually I try to avoid the baby talk, or just go along with it, it really depends on my mood on a given day. The challenge comes when my friends, colleagues or even my boss chime in their 2 cents.

1. Are you STILL planning to have children?

Yes. I am STILL planning. (This comes out in a sweet voice, with a passive aggressive follow up comment in my head). What do you mean STILL? I am only 35, damn it. Yes, I am STILL thinking about it. Get out of my way now.

2. You know, it is only going to get harder if you wait much longer

And you don’t think I know that? Well, thanks for stating the obvious and making me feel like I am 100 years old.

3. You will never know what real love is until you have a child

Ok, great. My love to anyone right now is worthless apparently. Thanks.

4. You are missing out on so much

Yes, I know. And you would not be making this comment if you knew I cry myself to sleep and have sleepless nights knowing I AM missing out.

5.  You would be such a great mom

Ugh, and now you actually feel bad for me.

6. You are so lucky to sleep in on the weekends

See #4

7. Do you think you will keep working after you have a child (actual question from my boss during a  performance review)

I can’t tell you that right now, so you don’t look for my replacement ahead of time

8. Just all that money you are saving

I would spend my last penny if that would bring me a child

If YOU are in the same shoes that I am, what other comments have you heard that annoy, frustrate or hurt you?

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