I read several moms’ blogs and I love the stories of their children’s growing. I bookmark ideas for play dates, tips and tricks for managing children’s schedule as well as homeschooling. I stop by children’s stores when I see they have a sale. I peak at a children’s section at Barnes & Noble, I stop by the swings in a park to watch children play, I wave at strollers and make silly faces at kids I see on a subway. It may not sound like anything extraordinary for all the moms out there. But it is for me. You see, I do not have children, and yet this is what I am longing for most. While I am hopeful that motherhood is something I will be blessed with, it seems like it is just not happening right now.
Usually I try to avoid the baby talk, or just go along with it, it really depends on my mood on a given day. The challenge comes when my friends, colleagues or even my boss chime in their 2 cents.
1. Are you STILL planning to have children?
Yes. I am STILL planning. (This comes out in a sweet voice, with a passive aggressive follow up comment in my head). What do you mean STILL? I am only 35, damn it. Yes, I am STILL thinking about it. Get out of my way now.
2. You know, it is only going to get harder if you wait much longer
And you don’t think I know that? Well, thanks for stating the obvious and making me feel like I am 100 years old.
3. You will never know what real love is until you have a child
Ok, great. My love to anyone right now is worthless apparently. Thanks.
4. You are missing out on so much
Yes, I know. And you would not be making this comment if you knew I cry myself to sleep and have sleepless nights knowing I AM missing out.
5. You would be such a great mom
Ugh, and now you actually feel bad for me.
6. You are so lucky to sleep in on the weekends
7. Do you think you will keep working after you have a child (actual question from my boss during a performance review)
I can’t tell you that right now, so you don’t look for my replacement ahead of time
8. Just all that money you are saving
I would spend my last penny if that would bring me a child
If YOU are in the same shoes that I am, what other comments have you heard that annoy, frustrate or hurt you?